The more we are conscious of an experience, the more alienated we are from it; the more immersed we are in an experience, the less conscious of it. Apparently, we cannot both be part-of-Life and aware that we are part-of-Life
This apparently inescapable trade-off is true for all stages of consciousness up to the advent of Final Participation - which is an un-alienated state that also includes conscious awareness.
Final Participation is attained (as Rudolf Steiner described in The Philosophy of Freedom) by bringing self-consciousness together with our understanding, in Thinking (in primary thinking, to be exact).
(Note: Participation is the opposite of alienation.)
Original Participation (OP) = Unconscious Participation
Consciousness Soul (CS) = Conscious Alienation
Final Participation (FP) = Conscious Participation
OP is (mostly) unfree because we are immersed-in experience - meaning and purpose are felt implicitly, but not known.
CS is experienced as free but meaningless and purposeless - detached from The World, and the world lacing in meaning and purpose.
FP is free and meaningful and purposive - life is experienced as a destiny including The World and Our-Selves.
Because participation is what reveals purpose. We are part of purpose; but know this explicitly only when consciousness is first able to detach itself from that purpose (CS) then - from that free and agent viewpoint outwith The World, to gain external awareness of purpose in everything.